How to assert yourself(With Videos)

How to assert yourself

It is important to know how to handle these situations so that you do not get pressured into doing what you do not want to do. You will need to be assertive…here are some tips for what you could say.

What to say when he/she says…

"You would do it if you really loved me."

• "If you really loved me you wouldn't try to make me do anything that I don't want to" .
• "I guess we have different ideas about love".
• "Good point, I guess I don't really love you".

"I will break up with you if you don't do that with me."

• "You can't make me do something by using threats".
• "I guess we just broke up".
• "I've just realised that I do want to break up with you".
• "You don't make me feel special and I am".

"You've just got me aroused and now you won't do it. You've given me blue balls - I need to have sex."

• "You can't force me by making me feel bad. I still don't want to do it".
• "There is nothing wrong with having blue balls, it can't hurt you. I will feel worse if I do something that I don't want to".
• "It is not true that men have stronger sexual urges than women. That is just an excuse".

 "Other couples do it. It is normal. Aren't you normal?"

• "There is no such thing as normal, and we are not other couples".
• "How do you know other couples are doing it…do you believe everything you hear?"
• "No I am not normal, and neither are you".
• "Happy couples don't pressure each other into sex".

"I'll tell other people that you are no good in bed and that you are frigid."

• "It was a good try attempting to pressure me into it, but it just won't work".
• "That is very immature. Anyone can spread rumours. Anyone can spread stories".
• "It's unfair and uncaring and illegal to try to threaten me."

"We can have a relationship if you have sex with me."

• "No thanks, I am not that desperate for a relationship".
• "That is not usually the way I like to be asked out. I think of myself as more than just a sexual being".
• "You cannot force me to have sex with you by offering me things".
• "No thank you, I am leaving now".

"It won't feel any good if you make me wear a condom."

• "I am not going to make you wear a condom. We just won't be having sex".
• "It won't feel any good if I get pregnant or if either of us gets a sexually transmitted disease like HIV/AIDS".
• "Wearing a condom is not my responsibility. It is both of ours".
• "I don't want to have sex with you if this is your attitude".

Some people may also try to get you drunk or under the influence of drugs so that you do not have as much control over what you are doing and saying. Be aware of what you are drinking. Try to have a trustworthy friend nearby looking out for you. Never leave your drink unattended, and pour your own from a can/bottle. Don't let anyone mix your drinks for you. Have a look at the topic 'Drink spiking'.